I am so tired of all the dithering around here. Why do we even bother to humor the toys about their little court system? It's a waste of our time and you all should be terribly embarrassed to be kowtowing to them.

Consider this my resignation, darlings.

[Over the City, an explosion rips through the side of the Deus Ex Machina II, tearing through the reinforced skin of the zeppelin like a blade through paper. It's followed by a second explosion. For a moment, the zeppelin lists to the side before loudspeakers on its gondola turn on and broadcast maniacal laughter into the air. The third and largest explosion hits and sends pieces of the zeppelin (and its occupants) raining across the City, cutting off the laughter for good.]

There you go, dears. Now that little man won't trouble you any longer. You may clear the court docket and get back to pretending that we care about justice.

No justice. Just us.

Don't expect wedding invitations, darlings, it isn't as though Paulie and I are doing this for sentiment. I can't believe Jonathan has the nerve to sue me for alimony.

[ooc: And with this, Virginia and I will be leaving the City. Virginia is heading off to marry Paulie for legal purposes. The Major, warconductor is now permanently (by City standards) dead, and the Deus Ex Machina II has been utterly destroyed, leaving it unusable in any form from here forward. And I wish to thank you all for a helluva lot of fun over the past 2 1/2 years.]

Girls, girls, your attention please or you'll all find your dirty little secrets aired for all and sundry.

I must remind you of our standards of behavior and civility today. Final exam preparation seems to bring out the little tart in so many of you.

1. School uniforms are to be worn at all times without exception and without alteration unless it looks particularly fabulous.


2. The school honor code is to be observed at all times without exception unless you can break it without being caught.


3. There are to be no males in any student's room. There are common areas for fraternization, which will be closely chaperoned. I am not losing another girl's tuition because I have to send her home pregnant.

Exceptions will be made to item number one for the dance on Saturday. Try not to look too cheap.

Darlings.

Darlings, you aren't trying hard enough. You just aren't living up to your full potential. You just aren't being interesting.

So, my dears, drink down your beers, gather up your sugar, and go find someone dear to your heart and make them cry.

Do it, darlings. Chop chop.

Do you like the City's new attraction, darlings?

Not that I particularly care, but I do have the short straw opportunity to introduce a new diversion for you all, since you so often complain of being bored.

Do come see the grand debut starting tomorrow, darlings. Don't be stingy, break out the coin, buy your pennants, place your bets on the gladiators, and cheer when first blood is drawn.

I'll have a clerk record your bets. Who do you think will win in the diversions we present you?

Sektor vs. Arnold
Kitana vs. Bruce
Johnny Cage vs. Cyrax
Kintaro vs. Ermac
Drahmin vs. Frost
Bo' Rai Cho vs. Fujin
Kai vs. Goro
Noob Saibot vs. Havik
Chuck vs. Hsu Hao
Reptile vs. Jarek
Jade vs. Jean-Claude
Raiden vs. Kabal
Reiko vs. Kano
Sareena vs. Khameleon
Preamelan Srikandarajah vs. Kira
Sylvester vs. Kobra
Darrius vs. Kung Lao
Baraka vs. Liu Kang
Jax vs. Meat
Blaze vs. Motaro
Ashrah vs. Nightwolf
Dairou vs. Nitara
Hotaru vs. Onaga
Sheeva vs. Quan Chi
Kenshi vs. Shang Tsung
Moloch vs. Shao Kahn
Scorpion vs. Shinnok
Mileena vs. Shujinko
Darrius vs. Sindel
Li Mei vs. Smoke
Mokap vs. Sonya
Chameleon vs. Sub-Zero
Rain vs. Taven


And do remember to say thank you, dears. I do like manners.

[ooc: Feel free to have your characters place bets on the outcomes. The key to the code names will be given after the matches.]

Oh darling little toys. So darling. I haven't felt like this since the Inquisition.

Hm... now where is my stylist? Sabine, be a dear, ring up Phillipe. Laszlo, escort a lady to dinner.

This is an utter waste of my time. Sabine, I'm docking your pay. Lenny, just... tch.

The winner of the warden election is:

Seras Victoria

Yes, darlings. Pretend I care. Congratulations, brava, don't drink the inmates.

There must be one somewhere on the toy list.

All that honesty made me thirsty.

Fine, fine. I will just have to do it myself.

[ooc: Cue the celebratory pink fountain o'cosmos. From midnight to midnight, the fountain will be filled with a damn fine big cosmo.]

They never listen.

[ooc: Should be working. Will return to doing so as soon as IT puts our publishing tool online again. Bad IT, bad. This curse just seemed to be the sort of thing to amuse Virginia.]

Oh, Katsura, darling. I'll have a word with you now.

Can't have roses with the thorns. Can't have the truth. Why do we bother with these little creatures? And to think, Paracelsus actually lobbied in their favor over something as insignificant as a few thorns.

Paulie, dear, you don't mind a rose garden in that mausoleum you call a bedroom, do you? After all, the thorns have to go somewhere and it isn't as though you need your bed.

I believe I shall take a vacation starting tomorrow. I am bored of these toys' dance. It's always the same and some of them have such dreadful rhythm.

Mm. You wanted hearts and candy. Do enjoy, darlings. After all, the romantics among you think honesty is a good thing in relationships.

Is your taste of honesty sweet?

Sabine, Lenny, someone send out a memo to City florists. Yes, dears, have them listen closely to Auntie Virginia: they are not to remove the thorns from roses they sell for the toys' little upcoming holiday. No, not at all. No, I do not care if people get pricked. Love is always filled with little pricks. Take it from me, darlings.

You all just run along and do that tidying up. Growing, rebuilding, all those dreary things.

Thomas, darling, that was a passable cosmopolitan.

Would someone care to do one better on the boy and curry a bit of favor, hm?

What. A. Dump.

For this they try to call me out of retirement? Zombies on the streets, offices askew, and not a good cosmopolitan in either of my hands.

Where is that pool boy with my drink?